You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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