Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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