i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
