Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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