i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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