Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
this just has baby written all over it
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
