so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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