i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
my being single is dangerous.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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