I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
