try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
