I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
