Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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