she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Your penis caused this!
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