Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Dear god my vagina.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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