K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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