A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
