I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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