I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
