you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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