What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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