whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
