I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
