it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize