I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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