You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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