she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
false alarm, still single
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