hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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