Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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