Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
