The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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