no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
