Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
