He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
