Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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