Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
