I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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