how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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