My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
