What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
