I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
