i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
