Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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