I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
