She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
