I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
