I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize