jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Boobs are out for the taking
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
