i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Randomize
