I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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