Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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