guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
