I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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