Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
