planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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