i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
