singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
