Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
