just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
