I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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