Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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